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I’m not okay. I’ve not been okay for so long I’m not sure I’d recognize what okay feels like. For the last 6 years I’ve been fighting for my life against autoimmune health issues. Almost entirely through the generosity of family, friends, and countless strangers I’m still alive.

I, like most people I meet, are suffering from debilitating depression. Even seemingly tiny tasks feel as though climbing Mount Everest. Getting out of bed, preparing food, reading, everything is a struggle. The only thing keeping me going is my family, friends, you, humanity.

The fact we’re alive gives me hope there’s a chance all this suffering will pay off in the end. Ideally in the form of a house on a couple acres, a wife, a few kids, some animals, and a garden.

For many years I felt as though I was wandering through absolute darkness. It wasn’t until 24 December 2017 following a near death experience that I realized the only light in the darkness is that which we create ourselves. From that day onward I’ve dedicated my life to humanity’s betterment in the form of “Project Universe.”

Seeing as I was bedridden I decided if I’m going to do anything it has to be big, as I was already home. Obviously I don’t have the resources to complete such a task today, so I got to thinking how I could acquire them. Fortunately I’ve been learning video game development since 1994 & teaching game development globally since 2006, so I wasn’t starting from scratch.

To my understanding humanity’s greatest problem is how inaccessible high quality education is. Fortunately for us most people nowadays have cellphones, gaming consoles, computers, TVs, tablets capable of playing video games. Through video games we can teach anyone anything anywhere on and off Earth.

From there I need an endless source of funding to hire a team and pay for all the stuff to develop this. Fortunately there’s all kinds of different ways video games can generate revenue, but I strongly dislike ads & microtransactions. By a stroke of luck I watched the movie Ready Player One which gave me the idea for an in-game mall featuring real online retailers. Through the mall players can purchase real-world goods and services for a tiny markup (1%) via affiliate links without intrusive advertising.

Unfortunately it’ll be a while before the game starts generating revenue, so I’ve been searching for volunteers on social media & set up crowdfunding sources such as Patreon. Thankfully surprisingly many generous people exist and most development software is free.

Courtesy of my own suffering and meeting people across the globe I’ve learned that homesteading aka permaculture aka intentional communities are the best ways of surviving indefinitely. Through these all of our needs are met via methods with thousands of years of development. With new technology like robotics, 3D printers, CNC machines, AI, hydroponics, aquaponics, and more the homesteads we build require less land than ever before. Without electricity every homestead requires (~10,000 square feet ~1,000 square meters ~0.25 acres) per person per homestead. With all the new technology we have the minimum possible size is significantly smaller and continues shrinking.

Now the last two hurdles are raising awareness and actually building everything. Fortunately for us through time and effort all things are possible. Many say “through God all things are possible,” but from my perspective “god” is another name for our willpower.

Through great suffering I had to choose: To be or not to be. I chose to be for humanity’s betterment by means provided to me by humanity. I don’t know when or how it’ll turn out over the years, but at least I have a reason to get out of bed that actually feels like it’s worth giving a fuck about. I thought I was all out of fucks to give, but here we are.

Depression is still a problem I struggle with every day, but I find comfort in knowing that I don’t have to build it all in a day and that I have humanity’s help. All we have to do is whatever little bit we can do each day. Write a post. Connect with someone. Work on a 3D model. Plant some food. Care for some animals. Learn more about homesteading. Even spending time with family and friends is beneficial as it falls under the category of self-care aka healthcare. Everything we do matters, even when we don’t think it matters. The most important thing is we take care of ourselves and each other. Without us none of this is matters, it’s only matter, stardust floating through the ether.

Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, with all of my love and gratitude forever and always, thank you for being here.

With absolute unconditional love,
Michael “Shaostoul” Boisson

  • Post published:2023-February-09
  • Post category:Blog
  • Post comments:0 Comments

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